“Do you have any 6’s” Kristin questions shivering through her puffy blanket.
“Nope, Go Fish” Riley responds.
“Hey, Dalton, do you have any 4s” David asks tired, yet smiling.
“Dude! You are crushing it this morning!” I sadly hand over my 4s.
“Thank you, thank you.” David accepts his new cards as he pretend to bow. “Go Fish at 6am in 30 degree temps are my specialty!”
We have all been living in our vehicles at the Buttermilks for a while now, typically sleeping until the sun comes out as the mornings have been cold. However, after some bribery, I convinced the crew that waking up early to watch the sunrise and enjoy a cup of coffee before bouldering would be a great refresh.
They begrudgingly agreed.
“Wow, look at that!” I said, nearly snapping my neck to look at Basin Mountain.
As we passed cards back and forth, the dark sky began to lighten and Basin Mountain caught the alpine glow. Reflecting in the snow dusted bowl that’s telling of oncoming winter weather, we enjoyed the brisk morning.
“Dang!”
“Yesss! That is why we woke up early!”
The whole crew was stoked, especially when the sunlight began to reach us. So much so, we left behind the game of Go Fish and huddled together, greeting the sun like ambitious dirtbags benighted on an alpine traverse. But, we were just silly boulderers, who woke up a bit to early.
“Well, is it time to start the day?”
“Yeah! Let’s go boulder.”
“Want to warm up on the Birthday Boulders?”
“They are so glassy, why do you like those?”
“Ah man, why you hating on those boulders. They are good warm ups.”
About Rock Climbing in the Buttermilks
Bouldering in the Buttermilks, just outside of Bishop, California, is often a pilgrimage site for dirtbags of all kinds. Most known for the highball boulders and consistently stout grades, the Buttermilks have climbing for everyone. While the rock is often considered sharp and tough on the skin, the bouldering is world class. Often the Buttermilks are considered the best granite bouldering in the world… I leave that for you to decide.
Some of the popular bouldering areas:
Birthday Boulders: https://www.mountainproject.com/area/105876417/birthday-boulders
Tut Boulder: https://www.mountainproject.com/area/106060938/tut-boulder
Peabody Boulders: https://www.mountainproject.com/area/105876414/peabody-boulders
Cave Area: https://www.mountainproject.com/area/105908342/cave-area
Mid-Day Laughs
After slipping my way to the top of what I would consider the hardest V1 I have ever topped, we headed for some other contrived boulders. I guess it was just that kind of morning! Making are way around the boulders, we worked our way to the tops of the Buttermilk stem, Green Wall Essential, Good Morning Sunshine, and the headed to the Womb.
Tucked away in the back of the Buttermilks, dwarfed by the Peabody boulders sits a contrived V0 that will brighten the spirits of any group. The Womb is a silly boulder! It feels impossible, but it isn’t. If you unlock the beta, you’ll float to the top. However, if you are like me, it kinda goes like this:
“Can you even climb, bro?” David half-jokingly ridicules me after struggling on my fifth go.
“Obviously not! I can’t even get to the top of this V0.”
Laughing “Well, move over so I can flail all over this boulder.” Kristin seeks revenge.
Trying hard, Kristin reaches for blindly around the corner. Snags it. Inching her body backwards, hoping to reach for the next hold, her toe picks and she spirals three inches to ground.
As the whole group laughs, “This time, it’s mine!” I slap my chalked hands together like Lebron James making a grand entrance to the NBA finals.
Laying down in the womb, I contort my body. Reaching around the corner, I get the hold. Squeezing my core, I hold my breath, and reach for the other hold. “VICTORY!" I shout in an early celebration.
“Are you popping the champagne before you get to the top?” David’s banter gets me.
Laughing, but still holding on, I take a few breaths and collect myself. Working my way out and around the lip, I struggle to find a foothold. There it is. Standing up, I walk to the top and shout in celebration, “WHOOOOO!”
Pumped and Ready for a Nap:
With a belly full of laughs after countless tries on the Womb, the group was mostly successful. As worn out as we were, on our wander back to our vans, we decided to give Robinson’s Rubber Tester a try. Another V0, that seems impossible, but is actually very easy… if you know the beta.
I am not sure who Robinson is, but the namesake of this boulder is correct. As we stood on crystals, palm smeared on dishes that wouldn’t hold a cookie, we sacrificed our rubber to this granite slab.
“Okay, I am pretty sure I just blew my toe out. Do you all want to get out of here?”
“I am ready for a nap!”